Using FAITH to be Better Not Bitter

By DaNine J. Flemming

  I am just returning from a meeting at my place of employment. Although this meeting centered on the work environment it has many spiritual implications. After hearing some highlights in this one-on-one meeting, I was then given what can be considered constructive criticism. There are some of my colleagues who believe that I am not happy, borderline disgruntled and or “angry”. I found this quite interesting considering they chose to go to someone else about what their perceptions verses coming directly to me. When I voiced my concern with this I was told some of the reasons varied but one in particular struck me as quite interesting. This was the fact that someone stated the reason they did not or had not come to me with their “concern” was due to fear of retaliation. Wow, we have really come to an epiphany of a cultural shift in paradigm.

  Not that I have not heard the term “angry black woman” prior to this point but this really through me for a loop. In a place of academe there are people who believe they can go and “report out” on individual’s verses doing what I would consider proper and sitting down and reasoning with their brother or sister. What we must begin to pay close attention to is how things are beginning to shift in the work environment, our homes, the church and the world in general. 

  We no longer live in a day and age when we can talk face to face. Email, instant messages, text messages, cell phones and the list continues have replaced face to face communication. We would rather speak to a situation verses speaking through a situation. The question that I pose is “Are we paying attention to what is really going on around us?”

  Now, what I find interesting is the fact that God has a sense of humor. I love in our quiet times together (may it be at home, in the kitchen, in the shower, in the car, during meditation, in the office, ANYWHERE and ANYTIME) God has this peculiar way of making me laugh.

   As I drove to work this morning in what I would consider a mini blizzard, I found myself stopped in traffic a few feet away from the entrance to my subdivision. Now the wind was blowing all around me and I could literally see cars moving but in the midst of all of that God said “Peace be still” and I could see the snow, hear the wind but I was totally unscathed! God is such a wonderful God. I began to praise and worship him (yes, in the middle of traffic in my car with the radio OFF!!!) This is important for me because I think many people fail to recognize the subtle signs from God. Even in the midst of a storm He is still the great I Am!

   In the same manner, I am convinced that by the grace of the Almighty that I have had more opportunities since I have been in Western Pennsylvania than if I would have remained in the South. This is not to say that I did not have opportunities in the South, BUT what I find most interesting is when I decided to be obedient to the will of God for my life HE has opened doors for me that no man can close. I have had the opportunity to go to Ireland (all expenses paid), to speak for a high school commencement ceremony, to be an Iron Chef, to present in national conferences, to witness the birth of new life, to speak during conferences, and the list goes on and one. One of the greatest opportunities that I have been afforded in this move is God removed me from almost all of the known to the unknown so I could have less distractions and begin to focus on Him. For far too long my vision was cloudy. I was allowing others dictation to determine my destination verses relying on the power and the will of God for my life.

  I am a firm believer that there is no testimony without a test and no message without a mess therefore I have been tried and tested and I have been in a whole lot of mess.  The key for me is knowing that as long as I humble myself and keep my mind stayed on God, He will bring me through victoriously!
 

  O.K., this is where a shift or transition occurs. I could not figure out for the life of me why it was taking me so long to complete this article. I have been trying to complete this for months, but can anyone say BUT GOD? See, although I wanted it to be completed He was waiting for a few more things to occur to take me to another level so I could have something more to share.  

  As a university employee there are many things that occur on college campuses around the country daily. Of course there are things that make the news and there are just everyday things that some people may call ordinary that make an extraordinary difference in the lives of a community of learners. I have just experienced for the second time in my career something that literally shook me to the core. Not because I am not a believer, but because I am a believer. Now I know that faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence for things unseen. There are some things that you have to experience so that you can truly know how to lean and depend on Jesus.

  As a caricature or cartoon that was supposed to depict white privilege and show how non-majorities feel they are being discriminated against hit the university newspaper, a flood of emotions and feelings began to well up on the campus like a tidal wave. But unlike a tidal wave many people did not see it coming so it had the effect of a tsunami on an unprepared land. Some people were offended, some people wanted to vent, others thought it was a “teachable moment” while some saw nothing wrong with the depiction of Asians as willing to do anything to please the “White man”, and African Americans as afro-wearing, Old English drinking underachievers. Now, this is a classic case of racism, (although all involved stated that they were not racists), as well as poor judgment and the desensitization of a group of individuals.

  Although I was deeply concerned and offended there was a decision to make. I could get bitter and do one of a few things, i.e.: remove myself from the situation, act out my frustrations in the student newspaper in which the caricature appeared, or I could do something to heal the open wound which would satisfy me: seek guidance from the Almighty, have caucus meetings with allies that I chose to speak to about my feelings, and demand some type of justice so something like this does not occur again. I chose the latter. Although many people may not agree with the decision and thought town hall meetings on racism were appropriate, or that this was a great opportunity to get people to begin to talk about race and racism on the campus, I just wasn’t willing to be the teacher in this matter. Unfortunately, oftentimes when racism and social injustice occurs, it is always the offended that must go to the offender to explain why they were offended. In common day terms this is the minstrel show. I chose not to be a part of the show to further validate why people of color are still deemed by some as less than the non-majority.

This relates to the story of Job. We all know that Job experienced more calamities in his lifetime than most will ever be asked to experience. The book of Job endures as a drama because it addresses the reality of suffering. Job struggles more with the crisis of faith going on within himself than he does with what was happening to him externally (the loss of his livestock, his servants, his children and his health). But through it all, Job is relentless in loving and seeking the face of God.

All of us will eventually travel the road of suffering. As we journey this dark path, we may find ourselves tempted to trust the goodness of God. Job gives us the courage to honestly face our hard questions and to wrestle with and in the presence of the Almighty. Like Job, we may find ourselves in a deep place, face to face with God, unfamiliar territory for some of us. Like Job, we can come to know that when it appears that all is lost and taken away, GOD IS ALL THAT WE NEED.

 We must all learn to never grow weary of doing good works because in due season, if we faint not we shall reap our just reward. Now you may ask how all of this assists me in being better and not bitter. We must be willing servants ready to say “Send me, I will go”. You become better not bitter when you can separate actions and words from their source… imperfect people saved (or waiting to be saved) by the grace of God.

As the song goes:

"I was a wretch undone, living in a world of sin. Had no hope, no peace within, then somebody told me who Jesus is "

Thank you Jesus, Thank you Jesus right now. To God be the Glory!!!!

Use your experiences to get better, not bitter!!!

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Sources

The Spiritual Formation Bible (NIV), Zordervan Publishing House

Holman Bible Dictionary T.C. Butler (Ed).